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Wedding Etiquette: How to Have Two Maid of Honors

Two maid of honors
Photo: Bella Dallas/Kiss Me for Eternity

 

For some brides, deciding who to choose as your maid of honor can be a tough decision. 

Should you choose your sister? Your best friend from college? The friend who just had you as the MOH in her wedding?

Remember, just asking someone to be a bridesmaid is a huge honor. There’s no need to feel guilty for singling out one maid as your numero uno.

But, if making the decision seems like an impossible feat, there is a way around it:

Have two maids of honor instead of one!

Not sure how to make it work? 

Here is our wedding etiquette guide for how to have two maids of honor.

Should You Have Two Maids of Honor?

Two maids of honorPhoto: Bella Charleston/Rachel Red

Having two maids of honor is perfectly fine … and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

After all, this is YOUR wedding day. You make the rules and can plan your day however you want.

If you want to have twenty bridesmaids, go for it. If you only want one, that’s fine too!

And if you’re super close with two people and can’t choose between them, then make them both a MOH!

Just let them both know up front that they’ll be sharing the spotlight. Make it clear to them that they are both super important to you and that there was no way to choose one over the other. Chances are, they’ll love the idea.

If you’re having a large bridal party, it can actually be really helpful to have two maids of honor to help out with the wedding planning.

What is a maid of honor supposed to do for the bride? Find out in our Maid of Honor Duties guide!

Make One a Matron of Honor

Is one of your MOHs married? You can make a distinction by calling the single one your maid of honor and the married one your matron of honor. Brides have been doing this for decades.

If neither are married, then they’ll both share the same “maid of honor” title. And if both happen to be married, then technically you’ll have two matrons of honor. Either way works!

As soon as you ask them to be in your wedding party, let them know that they can share all of the MOH responsibilities together. They can even give a maid of honor speech together at your wedding reception (if they feel comfortable doing so).

Get Them Acquainted

Two maids of honor helping the bride get readyPhoto: Bella Charleston/KMI Photography

Do your two MOHs know each other? If so, great! This is going to be a whole lot easier (and you skip to our next tip).

But what if they aren’t already friends?

If your maids of honor don’t know each other (or know each other well), it’s up to you to get them acquainted months before the big day.

Let’s say one is your sister and the other is your BFF from college. You know them both inside and out, so think about some things they have in common and spend some time helping them bond over shared interests.

Take them out for dinner and drinks. Start conversations about things that you know they both love (besides you!).

Do whatever you have to do to help them get along and learn how to work together. After all, the better they get along, the easier it will be for you.

Let Them Both Plan Important Pre-Wedding Events

The maid of honor is usually responsible for planning the bachelorette party and the bridal shower. Since you have two, you can let them decide for themselves who will plan what.

It’s best to encourage them to work together and plan your events as a team. But if they’re very different people, it might be best to have each plan a different event.

Is one a mini Martha Stewart with a knack for party planning? Let her handle the shower. Is one a tequila-loving party girl? It goes without saying that she should probably plan your bachelorette.

If they’re already friends that can work well together, they’ll probably want to plan your pre-wedding events as a team. If they’re not as close, they may prefer to divvy up certain tasks.

On the day of the wedding, there may be a lot of maid of honor duties. Having two close friends to help you out can keep the wedding running smoothly and on schedule!

Make Them Both Stand Out

Mismatched maid of honor dressesPhoto: Bella Harrisburg/Addie Eshelman

As the bride with two MOHs by her side, it’s your job to make sure that both of them feel special and that both stand out from the rest of the bridal party.

One way to do this is to have them wear different dresses than the other bridesmaids. They can wear the same dresses or each wear a different one.

Personally, we love the idea of having each MOH wear a different dress. That way, even if the rest of your bridesmaids wear the same gown, your bridal party can still have that cool, mixed-and-matched look.

Prefer to have everyone in your bridal party wear the same dress? 

Help your MOHs stand out by carrying different bouquets or adding a glitzy belt to their dress. Even the littlest details will make it obvious that these are your go-to girls.

If you’re looking for the perfect bridesmaid dresses, head to a Bella Bridesmaids location near you!

Let Them Walk Down the Aisle Together

The maid of honor is the last person to walk down the aisle before the bride. If you have two, let them walk down together. That way, they’ll know that they are truly equals in your heart.

Only having one best man? No problem! When the bridal party makes their exit after the wedding ceremony, your best man can escort both of your lovely ladies down the aisle at the same time.

But who should stand closest to you while you’re saying your vows?

Here’s where it sometimes gets tricky.

The maid of honor usually stands closest to the bride and holds the bride’s bouquet. If one of your besties is a matron of honor, you can ask her to stand in the second spot. But if they’re both equal MOHs, you’ll just have to decide who stands where.

A great way to make them both feel equal (regardless of where they stand) is to give them different duties during the ceremony. 

Have one be responsible for the groom’s wedding ring and the other hold your bouquet. This is a great way to honor both of them without putting too much focus on who stands where!

Don’t forget your littlest ‘maid! Find your flower girl dress here!

Conclusion

Deciding who to include in your bridal party is a big decision, but it’s a fun one to make. And if you can’t pick one maid of honor to stand out from the rest, then go ahead and choose two.

Remember, this is YOUR day, and you and your fiancé can plan it however you want!

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