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Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Jayda Iye
For 2025 and beyond, brides are choosing to give a bit more direction — sometimes a lot of direction — to streamline and simplify the wedding planning process.
We sat down with Melanie Brown of Bella Bridesmaids Nashville to talk about why letting bridesmaids pick their own dress without any direction is downtrending this year.
If you’re in the midst of wedding planning, Brown’s insight into why brides are taking more creative control over their weddings just might save you from making a decision you’ll regret.
When brides take a more active role in narrowing dress options, bridesmaids don’t have to worry about the choices they make because the bride is making them herself!
The Bride as a "Curator"
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Elizabeth Hoard
Most couples have a very specific vision of what they want their wedding day to look like. From their save-the-date cards to the type of food served at the reception, many curate every detail of the big day to make that vision come to life.
The current trend of allowing bridesmaids to choose their own looks has made that difficult for some couples.
Bridesmaid dresses are such an important aspect of the big day.
Your bridesmaid looks will lead the procession and give your guests the first glimpse into the vibe and style of your wedding day. You’ll also capture that in wedding photos and videos for years to come.
Understandably, many brides aren’t willing to leave this element of their wedding day up to chance. Many also want to lift some of the burden off their bridesmaids.
In our conversation with Brown, we learned that couples are “taking a more purposeful approach to planning this piece of the wedding. For brides, it means she’s going to have the look she wants. Ten years down the road, she’ll have these photos and videos that show that [her vision] came to life and that the whole day was what she wanted it to be.”
And the idea of curating every detail doesn’t stop at bridesmaid dresses.
Some couples are giving outfit suggestions to guests as well. Some tell guests to stick to a dress code like semi-formal or formal attire. However, others make specific requests, such as asking guests to wear all blue or show up in English garden florals.
Does choosing bridesmaid dresses for your girls mean that you don’t respect them as individuals?
Of course not!
Brown says there are ways brides can consider everyone’s needs and wants and achieve their specific vision for the big day.
Why Are Brides Moving Away From Letting Bridesmaids Choose Their Own Looks?
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Abigail L Boeger
Around the end of 2023 and early 2024, many wedding photos of “pick your own dress” wedding parties started popping up online. And many brides-to-be realized that letting every maid pick their own look might not be the best idea.
Here are some of the missteps brides made that inspired new brides-to-be to start shifting away from the “pick your own dress” trend:
Not Being Specific About Color
The bride gave just one guideline: the color scheme sage green. The problem is that sage green from one designer differs from sage green from another. All of the bridesmaids showed up in different shades and different color dresses.
Not Being Specific About Silhouette
The bride told her bridal party to wear any dress they felt comfortable in, as long as it was in her preferred color palette.
Some bridesmaids chose slinky, strapless looks, while others chose structured ballgowns. Most chose knee-length styles, but one chose to wear a floor-length dress. The combination of very different dresses wasn’t cohesive, and the wedding photos looked unbalanced.
Not Being Specific About Fabric
The bride told her bridesmaids to wear X color from X designer but didn’t say anything about which fabric to choose. Some bridesmaids chose lightweight, airy chiffon, some chose satin, and others chose velvet.
The result?
A bit too much texture variance .
A mixed-and-matched wedding party with a cohesive look is gorgeous, and that trend isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. What we’re trying to avoid are directionless bridesmaids.
To ensure that your mixed and matched looks are cohesive, consider hand-picking different silhouettes, colors, or patterns for each bridesmaid. Each bridesmaid can have her own distinct look yet still coordinate and tie together with all the other girls.
Get the look you love! See our collection of hundreds of modern bridesmaid dresses from top designers.
The Pros of Giving Your Bridesmaids More Direction
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Sara Bill
Brown says that giving dress direction benefits both the bride and the members of the wedding party.
For starters, it gives the bride the creative control to orchestrate the perfect vision for her special day. It also means she won’t be inundated with texts and phone calls from bridesmaids uncertain about the choices they’ve made.
When given total freedom to choose their own dresses, bridesmaids often look to the bride for approval before ordering a dress. The more bridesmaids in your wedding party, the more overwhelming this can be.
As a bridesmaid, having the bride choose your dress saves you the time and stress of finding a dress you hope meets the bride’s expectations.
Who Does This New Trend Impact Most?
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Brad & Jen
The shift away from letting bridesmaids have free rein to choose their own looks impacts both the bridesmaids and the bride. It puts more work on the bride and lifts some of the bridesmaids’ burden.
But, brides should prepare for the fact that everyone you ask to be a member of your wedding party may not be willing or able to accept the invitation.
Brown says, “Somebody might not be able to be your bridesmaid, and that’s okay. A bridesmaid might not be able to commit at a certain point in her life, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that you’re not friends — the history you’ve built up in the past is worth more than that.”
How Brides Should Approach the “I’m Choosing Your Look for You” Conversation
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville | Mary Rosenbaum
Brown has hosted countless dress-shopping parties in her showroom. She’s seen the many different ways that wedding parties interact.
Her advice?
Start with an honest, kind conversation with your bridesmaids about why you’re not giving them total freedom to choose their own looks. She also stresses the importance of being delicate and understanding during these chats.
Let Your Bridesmaids Know Why You’re Choosing Their Dresses
If your bridesmaids understand your reasoning for choosing their looks for them, they’re much more likely to buy into the idea.
For example, if they don’t like your chosen color, tell them you chose it because it coordinates with a flower in your bouquet or with the décor in the venue. If they’re less than thrilled about wearing bows or ruffles, let them know that the overarching theme of the wedding is glamor or romance.
For bridesmaids who aren’t on board with your dress choices, remind them why you chose them to be in your wedding party. They are your most important people, and your relationship is much more important than any dress.
If they’ve been a bridesmaid in someone else’s wedding, where they chose their own look, they may be relieved you’re making some or all of the decisions for them!
Have a Conversation About Budget
Your bridesmaids may be in very different financial situations. That’s why Brown suggests having a delicate conversation about budget, too.
Some bridesmaids may be well into their careers, some in grad school, and some out of work. Knowing their price point can steer your decisions and help you narrow your options for designers and fabric choices.
Everyone knows it’s expensive to be in a wedding, and brides don’t want their bridesmaids to go broke.
If you prefer a specific designer or fabric that’s not in the budget, consider putting your maid of honor, sister, or cousin in that “special look.” Then, allow most of your bridesmaids to choose from less expensive options.
Also, consider focusing on designers who specifically offer maternity looks if you have a bridesmaid who’s pregnant or plans to be.
Nurture Your Relationship Throughout the Wedding Planning Process
Brides, don’t worry that you’ll come off as a “bridezilla” with unreasonable expectations.
Wanting to curate every detail of your wedding day and taking full creative control is perfectly reasonable.
Brown says, “Anything you have to do along the way to nurture your relationship is way more important than a dress. Whatever vision [the bride] has, whatever budget she has, whatever fabric she’s looking for, Bella Bridesmaids can pretty much accomplish that vision. Let’s just be creative and find it so everyone can feel comfortable, but never forget you chose them, not just as a body, but as a friend and a sister”.
Find the Middle Ground
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville
You can choose dresses for your bridesmaids while still allowing for some flexibility.
How?
By choosing colors, designers, and fabrics and then allowing your bridesmaids to select between different styles of dresses. Bridesmaids deserve to wear a look that suits their body types and makes them feel comfortable and confident.
Specify that you want your bridesmaids to wear specific colors from specific designers. Tell them whether you want them to wear full-length, short, or midi-length dresses.
Narrow their choices to one or two fabrics yet allow for flexibility in details like sleeve length or neckline. This allows the bride to make most of the decisions and the bridesmaids to have some input of their own.
Photo: Bella Bridesmaids Nashville
The trend of letting bridesmaids choose their own dresses is dissipating, and it’s understandable why. As the bride, it’s your big day, and it should look and feel exactly how you imagined it. So curate away, brides-to-be — and have fun doing it!
If you’re in the Nashville area, let the team at Bella Bridesmaids help you find bridesmaid dresses that'll bring your wedding day vision to life.
Book an appointment at our Nashville location to find the perfect look for your bridesmaids on your big day!
