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Most wedding planning to-do list tasks typically don’t require a visit from the muse. And if words evade you whenever you attempt to write your vows, we’re here to help.

Trying to squeeze the key elements of your love story into a 2-minute speech can seem challenging. But these tips will help capture your sentiments beautifully.

So, grab a notebook and pen and find a cozy, quiet space.

It’s time to reflect on all the incredible moments that made you realize why your fiancée is your soulmate.

What Makes Modern Vows Modern?

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Modern wedding vows are typically heartfelt and non-religious sentiments. They distill the essence of the couple and their union into words that reflect the personality of the newlyweds. Modern vows also don’t always evoke Christian verse or the presence of God.

Modern wedding vows can be funny or clever, or you can make them semi-traditional and include your own spin.

Above all, modern vows are flexible. They’re unique to each couple and their relationship.

Some couples choose to share more intimate personal vows in private. They then exchange traditional wedding vows during the wedding ceremony itself.

Shop our collection of modern bridesmaid dresses from top designers.

Tips for Writing Modern Wedding Vows

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When writing modern vows, the goal is to connect with your heart and get your pen moving in a way that accurately expresses its sentiments.

Brainstorm

What makes your relationship incredible? 

What are its strengths, and how have you navigated hard times together?

What is it about your fiancée that elicited an automatic “yes” as soon as they got down on one knee? 

What are their quirks, and what did it feel like the first time they held you in their arms?

Include any personal anecdotes that stand out. Free yourself up to express your love and gratitude. 

Just allow your own words to flow. You can always edit later. Share your vision for the future and list all the ways you promise to be there to love and support them. 

Find the Gems 

After writing your heart out, wait a few days before grabbing a highlighter and reviewing everything you’ve written. Highlight the moments that stand out or the lines that have potential.

You can follow this simple template if you’d like to add more structure: 

Take the highlighted sentences and use them in the areas where they work best, editing as necessary.  Then, if needed, find other examples to complete the rest.

Don’t Rush the Process

Some people may get their vows completed in a single afternoon. 

Others may need a little more time. 

The earlier you start, the more time you have to perfect and polish your vows. Spend a few hours each week working on them. If you’re having a hard time, try to hush your inner critic.

If writing isn’t really your thing, you can always use one of the many speech-to-text apps that convert your words to text. Or enlist the help of a friend who has a way with words.

You can even write a few different versions of your vows, then — with your bridesmaids’ help — choose which is best.

You want to aim for vows that are between 200 and 300 words (or about two to three minutes long).

Speak From the Heart

Silence your mind, and hand your heart the mic. 

Love is one of the most powerful pure emotions. Let your love pour out onto the page. 

When you connect with your heart, you’ve got it. The best wedding vows come directly from the heart.

If You Need Help Writing Your Vows…

If you feel stuck, insecure, or would generally like assistance or feedback, enlist help from your best friend, confidant, or a loved one. Run your vows past your wedding planner or officiant if you’d like.

Whenever you request feedback or advice, be specific about how you’d like them to help you. 

Seeking honest feedback? 

Ask them to deliver it in a way that’s helpful and encouraging. Not through pages inked up in red with lines crossed out and “see me” written at the bottom… unless you’re that special kind of person who’s not affected by harsh criticism.

Modern Wedding Vow Examples

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When you write your own wedding vows, use the style you like best. Simple modern marriage vows can be funny wedding vows or even religious wedding vows that you’ve embellished upon to make it more personal.

It can be as simple as:

The first time you held me in your arms was an incredibly special day. It was the day I finally found peace. Your love, generosity, and support have carried me since then, and I feel so blessed to be standing up here with you — my one true love — we’re getting married!

I promise to be your faithful partner. To love, cherish, and honor you today, tomorrow, and every day of our life.

Or, if you’re looking to inject a little humor, what are some differences between you both that are funny? How can you let your humor shine?

Here are some examples:

You and I just work together — and I love how you always finish my........ sentences... it's sentences. 

You can also grab inspo from this classic 1989 movie, When Harry Met Sally:

I love that you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

Finally, if you’re feeling up to it, you can totally impress everyone by memorizing your vows. Staring deep into your fiancée’s eyes as you recite them at the altar.

Just be sure to have a printed copy of them on hand in case the wedding day jitters kick in!

As you prepare for your big day and continue to come up with wedding ideas, save a little corner of your mind for your vows. Always keep a pen and paper ready should the muse decide to pay you an unexpected visit. 

Repeat after me: I will write incredible, heartfelt, unique wedding vows.

There. Nothing to it. Move over, Shakespeare; there’s a new bard in town!