Should You Discuss Your Wedding Kiss Before the Wedding?

Bride and groom kissing surrounded by bridal party

Photo: Bella Birmingham / YNot Images

From tossing the bouquet to dancing the first dance, there are a lot of wedding traditions that we just can’t get enough of. But the wedding day moment that gets the most attention is the first kiss! 

If you’re getting ready to walk down the aisle, you’re probably already dreaming of the moment after you say your I Do’s when your officiant finally says, “You may kiss the bride!”

But how you smooch can make or break that big moment.  

Grab your fiancé right now and read this post together. We’re about to cover everything you need to know about the wedding kiss.

Should Your Kiss Be Spontaneous or Planned?

Couple kissing spontaneously at weddingPhoto: Bella Allentown / The Markows

Some couples plan out every single moment and every last detail of their nuptials. Others are a bit more carefree and laidback about the process. 

But no matter what type of wedding you’re throwing or how particular you are, you should absolutely discuss your wedding kiss prior to the big day.

That’s not to say that you need to practice it over and over or have it mapped out like a choreographed dance. You need to find that delicate balance between staging it to a tee and completely winging it in the moment.

The wedding kiss is always better if you’re relaxed and natural. Too much planning can make it look forced. The trick is not to overthink it.

Instead, just discuss a few key details, and then let the magic of the moment take over!

Kiss photos aren’t the only photos you need for your photo album. Make sure to capture all of the 9 Most Important Bride and Groom Wedding Photos.

How Much PDA Is Too Much PDA?

Everyone has their own ideas about how much PDA is acceptable, so you’ll need to have that discussion with your partner and get on the same page.

A shorter kiss is better, but a quick peck just won’t cut it. You’ll need to lock lips for at least a few moments so your wedding photographer and loved ones can snap a few pics.

Here’s the main rule of the wedding kiss:

Keep your tongue in your mouth. Your bridal party, best friends, and aunts and uncles in the audience do not need to witness a full-on make-out session. Save that for the wedding night!

If you only plan one element of your wedding kiss, let it be the PDA factor. Make sure both of you know how much (or how little) to display.

Decide What to Do With Your Hands

Couple kissing at weddingPhoto: Bella Palm Beach / Sunny Lee

The first kiss is always a special moment. But for some people, as they gaze into the eyes of their new wife or new husband, all they’re thinking is we better make this a good kiss — it’s going to be captured in photos forever!

And you’re absolutely right.

Your wedding photographer and guests are likely to start snapping photos as soon as the moment happens. But it’s not just about what you do with your lips — it’s also about what you do with your hands and body.

Don’t ruin your wedding kiss photos by leaving your arms dangling idly at your sides. There are lots of places to put your hands, so discuss it with your partner and find a comfortable position ahead of time.

Holding hands is always a good option. It’s sweet, it’s romantic, and it’s classic.

You can also put your arms around each other’s necks, shoulders, or waists.  

Looking for a bit more drama? You might want to do a dip kiss. If you like this option, just be sure to practice it a few times. It can go really wrong if you don’t know what you’re doing.

And, of course, let’s not forget about the face grab. Nothing says “I’m madly in love with you” like a good face-grab kiss!

Looking for the perfect bridesmaid dresses? Shop our collection or head to a Bella Bridesmaids store near you!

Decide How to Tilt Your Head

Wedding kiss head tiltPhoto: Bella Raleigh / Anchor & Veil

Like your arms and hands, it’s a good idea to talk about what you’re going to do with your head.

Some couples like to kiss straight on, while others prefer a head tilt.

The straight-on kiss is ideal for photos, but it doesn’t come naturally to some people. If you prefer to tilt your head to one side, make sure you know which direction to lean. That big moment is not the time to go left if your partner is planning to go right.

If you do tilt your head, be careful. If you tilt too much, one of you might not even be visible in the first kiss photo.  

Either way, make eye contact and take a deep breath before you lean in. That will make it even more perfect!

Your first kiss as a married couple is your first chance to show the world that you can work as a team. By knowing in advance which direction to tilt your head, you can avoid a potentially awkward moment.

Talk About the Timing

Couple kissing in red wedding carPhoto: Bella DC / Kayla Coleman

The timing of your wedding kiss is also important. Your officiant will give you the cue when it’s time for the big moment, but you should decide beforehand how long the kiss will last.

Do you have to count down five or ten seconds in your head to make sure your timing is perfect? No. But you should have a general idea of how long to linger on each other’s lips.

Otherwise, it could look like one of you is pulling away while the other one wants more and more!

Here are some more blogs to help you plan your wedding:

5 Kinder Alternatives to Releasing Wedding Doves | DIY Wedding Arch Ideas | 21 Best Songs to Walk Down the Aisle To


The first kiss at your wedding ceremony is a big deal. It’s the first physical chance to show your love for your new husband or wife, and it’s a moment that your guests are waiting for.

So make it a good one!

Have a pre-wedding discussion about what kind of a kiss it will be, how long it should last, and what you’re going to do with your head and hands. Just don’t plan it too much.

When you’re at the altar in front of your officiant and all of your guests, imagine that it’s just the two of you. Lock eyes with your new spouse, lean in, and make it a natural moment.

The more relaxed and organic it feels, the better your kiss photos will be! 

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